So Babystar has been talking a lot. Her vocabulary has atleast 100 words. She fancies some words to others and that too changes everyday. So she keeps herself and us entertained with her newness everyday. But obviously she has been and is paying a lot of attention to what we speak and do. Last night I was reading her bedtime book when HRH walked in to help. HRH lay beside Babystar and was listening to the story as well. After we closed the book, Babystar was still not quite ready to lay down. So HRH was like…”Massage Appa’s back”..She did that. She has seen me do this many times and sometimes she would climb on his back and would try to relieve him of his back pain ;). So after HRH asked her to do that twice, I was like…Babystar..looks like Appa’s back is hurting a lot today, why don’t you climb on him and dig your feet into him. AND SHE IMMEDIATELY GOT UP AND DID THAT. I was floored. How on earth did she understand all that!!
This morning babystar woke up super early and started talking to me. Half asleep, I nursed her and she still didn’t drift back to sleep..that usually happens and she started identifying objects in the room and was climbing over me and HRH to get off the bed. I said “Babystar, please lie down and say Krishna…you will sleep”…She started saying Krishna loudly and woke us up!
I know that babies’ brains are like sponge and they take in a tonne, but I was amazed how much she expressed it last night and this morning.
I don’t think I will ever be one of those moms who compares and competes but I am amazed how much my baby has grown. It took her almost 4 weeks to learn to nurse effectively after she was born. We struggled so much and I would cry in despair that I couldn’t teach my baby how to eat, but now I am taken back when she does or says things that we never taught her.
So I have realised that finding a job in Chi-town for someone with my background is really tough. I wish we lived in DC or NoVA but moving is not an option at this point. So I am at crossroads trying to find out something else I would be interested in doing. So I am linking all over and have discovered Linkedin to be a good place to start out. I have done some groundwork reaching out to the nearby community college for some assistance. I have a lot of work ahead of me in landing myself a job. ” I will enjoy the process and not get frustrated” is on a post-it beside my computer. Lets see how that works!
Things otherwise is as normal as ever. Babystar is one! and is as cute as a button with her pierced ears and mottai. Hair is growing fast though. I think she has HRH’s hairline and texture which is not totally unfortunate. She seems to have the anger gene passed on from her mother which is worrying. She has learned that the world is different when she throws tantrums. Her grandmother (HRH’s mom) is here which makes it even more difficult for me to create a schedule with ground rules. She is as thin and tall as a beanstalk but she’s happy and sort of healthy enough for the doctor to nod her head.
I love the holiday season. This year’s Thanksgiving feast was grander than ever. HRH and I are in agreement that we’ll celebrate Thanksgiving weekend as Deepavali from here on with influences from both the cultures we are familiar with now. We had a thanksgiving feast with friends as family for lunch (just like our Deepavali feast lunch) instead of a traditional thanksgiving “dinner”. Dishes had influences from south indian traditions as well as american classics. Apple pie was a hit again this year.
But tomorrow I start a diet cleanse so that I don’t overbake and over eat this holiday season. Have to make up for the last two years of pregnancy eating and post- pregnancy indulgences
I can’t remember or find where I read that a few days back. Sorry I’m not able to back link. I am not able to get it off my mind. It was a blog through the eyes of Westerner who was living in Bangalore. She wrote this piece on how women in India always ate last. If they were not cooking, they were washing dishes/ clothes, making tea or not doing something they wanted for the sake of their family (in-laws/husband/children). Now, my mother’s life was almost that. She did work in a government office or was a teacher in the Middle east Indian schools till I , the second born came around. After that, she was forced to quit her job to take care of my sister and me. She did take some tuitions here and there at home but it was never the same I guess. The years flew by. My sister and I are grown women with beautiful daughters. We continue to work after our babies but I work from home and she is moving to part-time from next month to spend more time with her kindergartener. My mom still has remorse over quitting her job though she says her live as a mother was very fulfilling. She would have been an officer during retirement earning a good pension. My dad feels bad that he too had a part in her quitting her job. So that was a sacrifice my mom made for us. Yes, she always ate last or right beside the stove so that we got good hot food. I am in the same shoes now. I eat my dosais right beside the stove now. And now, her (andmy dad’s ) life is mostly about being there for my sister and I when we need them. They visited with us when Babystar was born and though they got royally bored during the terrible snowy winter in Chi-town, they did not complain. They said they were happy to stay with me, HRH and Babystar. I’m sure this is another form of sacrifice. Regardless of what they might be doing otherwise, they gave up their routine for me and my family. That to me is a sacrifice.
Now, I love the close knit nature which I suspect is the case with most of family like ours but is that constricting our lives as well? Life sure is all about sacrifices, acceptances and finding happiness in that but do some sacrifices go beyond what one should have to give up? I am right now at these crossroads where I see myself giving up a lot and trying to make peace with situations. I did not give up much in life as a younger person but I seem to have to/ want to give up more as I approach my 30s. Maybe its the marriage and the real life things happenning to me!
I don’t know if this is only India specific. As a wife/mother, you need to cook and clean and take care of your family. So shouldn’t this life have to be universal? Don’t know.
That’s my rant for the day.
Life doesn’t have to be the way you plan it in your head..is the biggest lesson life has taught me since Babystar came into our lives.
When I was pregnant I really didn’t stop doing anything. We threw more dinner parties than ever and I had all the energy in the world to cook, clean and keep the house pretty. I worked till two days before Babystar was born. I just took the last two days off to spend time with my mom and meditate a bit. The day I came home from the hospital my bed was made, shower was clean and the kitchen was spotless. her crib was ready to be slept in! It has not been used till date. This is why.
I was breastfeeding around the clock and getting very little sleep. I was not going to complain since I was totally ready for this. 5 days after Babystar was born, the ped. said she wasn’t getting enough food and I had to supplement. So we started doing that. My LC had me pump after every feeding for 15 minutes. So that was breastfeeding followed by 2 hours of pumping everyday and then sitting witha sleepy baby and a bottle (this was the toughest part). I would fall asleep with her in my arms to take her to bed with me. We started cosleeping. I ignored the crib which was 2 feet away from our bed. HRH would sleep on the floor for a few weeks and then when he was more comfortable with her in our bed, we started sharing a family bed. I decided to keep with it for 6 months. Don’t ask me why 6 months. Everyday when I put her to sleep in our bed, I loved it. We cuddled and nursed and went to sleep. I started sleeping better, I was always aware of her movements and sounds. Yes, we were a little crammed in our queen size bed but we made it work. I guess sleeping on your side when pregnant helps! My friend asked me the other day when Babystar was going to move to her crib (a total waste of money). I simply say ” I don’t know…not yet”. Babystar is a week away from being 10 months old and I don’t plan on moving her out from our bed…maybe we’ll just buy a king size bed in a few months.I think HRH has bonded beautifully with Babystar because we share a bed. He understands her better. I love seeing his arm around her when she whimpers at night.
We share a family bed in our house with our daughter and noone can make me feel guilty!
Babystar’s is still adjusting her life with the new babysitter (Miss G). She was confused and scared. It was frustrating and heartbreaking for me to see her cry when I leave her alone with Miss G. But we are miles ahead of day 1. Babystar really likes Miss G. Miss G is quite nice too. She is not a spoilt teen and has a beautiful voice. I love it when she sings to Babystar.
Her latest milestone has been saying her first words. She started with Amma and Appa about two months ago and then parts of few words in Tamil but nothing complete. And yesterday she said “Baby”. As parents, we enjoy everything she does but her first words made me cry in joy. She has finally sprouted her first tooth. I can feel it slightly peek out of her gums but you can’t really see it yet.
I love seeing Babystar grow into a naughty little rug rat scurrying all over the house and driving me crazy. Being her mom makes me feel blessed.
HRH and I agreed upon a sitter and Babystar gave her approval. She is a young high school student and has taken care of young babies before. Babystar cautiously approached her and smiled at her from a distance. I think it will work out okay. Its just for 2 months. In other news, I got a final plan of what I will be working on for the next 2 months and this will help me plan out everything. I am happy about that.
So I have started looking for a babysitter who will come home for about 6 hours everyday so that I can get some work done. I am doing a tonne of injustice to my job. Now, its end of project and I have a lot of documentation I need to finish. Its going to be for about 2 months after which wheeeeeeeeee, we go to Madras for Babystar’s first birthday! I am going to be home when the babysitter is going to be around.SO..I am still in control of things but finding one is a big challenge. I need to decide soon…